Conflict Management Rules

 

Good management means applying or utilizing resources  available to a management in order to generate positive , harmonious and desirable results. If this definition of  “good management” be  accepted then what are the rules that govern conflict management?

A conflict by definition necessitates two opposing points of view or positions. But does the existence of two opposites lead to conflict ? Perhaps not.  Life in general is composed of polar opposites and yet nature proves that polar opposites can exist in harmony. In-fact, the edifice of nature is dependent on polar opposites coexisting in harmony. Males and Females, Protons and Electrons, Day and Night, Heights and Depths, Light and Darkness, Life and Death, Sleep and Wakefulness, Customer and Supplier, Buyer and Seller, Action and Reaction, Strong and Weak, order and chaos, heat and cold; are just examples of polar opposites that need to exist in order for natural equilibrium to exist. In fact, the presence of one defines the other.

If the presence of two opposing points of views or positions does not cause conflict , what then causes  conflict?  In my view, it occurs when party completely denies or attempts to deny the existence or the interest  of the other opposite.

I think it is axiomatic to state that harmony is preferable to conflict. In life as well as in work. And thus perhaps the need to articulate the rules relating to conflict management. Here are some rules that I have collected over the years:

1. Conflict is war. War is painful. Avoid conflict as far as possible. A good management will anticipate conflict and work far in advance towards attenuating the probability of a conflict arising in the future. This is the most important rule.
2. However, conflict will arise.  Harmony is defined by it. A good management must be prepared for it.
3. Most conflict occurs due to fear of the other. Often, one fears what one does not understand.  Often a better understanding can resolve the conflict. And yet it is not easy since understanding comes from engagement and it is difficult to engage with some one who one fears.
4. Still, a large proportion of conflict occurs because of mis-understanding / mis- communication of intent. As the pop saying goes “Baat karne se baat banti hai” ( only by talking can you resolve issues). So communicate -> connect – > understand – > resolve -> avoid conflict.
5. And yet there will be times when all of the above fails. And then if  a conflict arises or persists – engage in the conflict only if one is certain that one can win.

1. Do not engage in  conflict with some one who is more powerful that you are. You are likely to lose.

1. Do not engage in conflict with some one who is very small. There is no glory in winning such a conflict.

1. Engage in a conflict to win the conflict. There is no glory in losing the conflict. Therefore choose  your conflict carefully.

1. Choose the conflict, the time, the place and materials of war. If the adversary tries to foist it on you, try to avoid it. Surprise the adversary – Do not get surprised. Lead the adversary into conflict – do not get led by him.

1. Last, but not the least: There are wars and conflicts that one will choose irrespective of the consequences and the considerations above. These are conflicts worth dying or losing everything for. One must know what these are. These often define the person , the organisation ,  the management or an era.

What else ? What are your thoughts and experiences on the cause of conflict and managing conflict?

 

 

 

” Dig the ground without…

” Dig the ground without worrying. Water will come… if not from the ground below…then from above.”

- A Kannada Adage, I learnt from a friend.

The Quality of Assets

I have been pondering over an interesting question set:

How does one judge the Quality of a Possession or an asset ? What should be the parameters that determine it ? What determines the quality of an asset ?

I guess a quality possession ( asset)  would have the following characteristics :

1. Permanence / Robustness : It should not get destroyed over time. Value does not depreciate.

2. Functionality / Reliability : The usefulness should increase with time / The more one uses it the better it becomes. Value increases with use.

3. Risk Proof / Theft Proof       :No one should be able to take it away.

So while all assets are better than liabilities – is there a hierarchy ?

My grandfather was fond of a Hindi adage ” Saraswati ke Bhandar ki badi aparub baat – Jyun kharche tyun badhe ; bin kharche ghat jaat”  ie. ” Character of Knowledge is quite unique – the more you spend it the more it increases and if you dont spend it then it decreases”.

Knowledge, in my opinion, clearly has the above three characteristics. Even if some one steals knowledge from you – you will still have it.

Money can be stolen, depreciates over time and on expenditure it does reduce.

Things that money can buy – Cars, Houses, Jewellery etc.. – all can be stolen. Most depreciate over time and use.

Land – however seems to appreciate over time even in real terms, but even land can be taken away ( the government can take it away any time)

What cant be stolen – Brand, Loyalty ( by definition) apart from Knowledge, friendship.  It was an important lesson that I learnt during my tenure at American Express. I was taught the supremacy of the brand. Each employee is taught the supremacy of the brand and multiple examples were given where the company parted with huge sums of money to protect the brand.

Perhaps Gandhi was echoing the same sentiment when he said:

” If wealth (money) is lost – nothing is lost. If Health is lost – something is lost. If Character ( Brand) is lost – everything is lost”. And then he spent a lifetime dedicated to building his character.

What is your opinion ? Do you think the above three characteristics are sufficient to define the quality of an asset ? Are there other perspectives ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How do I become more successful ?

There are many definitions of success.  And I don’t believe in “Rights” and “Wrongs”, but “Useful” or “Not Useful”.

In the last post – I share  a definition of success that I found quite useful (http://chetankhosla.wordpress.com/2012/06/05/have-i-made-it-large/)

A question that perhaps all of us ask, irrespective of the definition of success, is – How do I become more successful ?

If one agrees with the central premise of the definition of success then the logical answer that follows is some what controversial.

If  being successful implies having solved one problem set then being a bigger success must mean  solving a  bigger problem set.

So “solve bigger problems” becomes the key to being more successful. In order to solve bigger problems, one must therefore identify, accept and choose bigger problems.

Isn’t it interesting ? A curse ( a big problem) may suddenly become the pathway to being “more successful“.

Even in during the innovation process the innovator first begins with the articulation of the problem statement ( a conflict that must be resolved).

There are professionals who would solve the problems of a process – and thus maybe successful.

Others may solve the problems of a company – and thus maybe successful.

Still others may solve the problems of an industry  – and thus maybe successful.

Greater people solve the problems of a country.

Still greater people make a difference to a problem that is common across the world.

The choice therefore is ours. The degree to which we are successful is dependent on the “Bigness ” of the problem that we choose to address.

Is the problem  my food, water, shelter or my luxuries that I am trying to address ?  Or is it something larger ?

Gandhi chose to address the problem of the subjugation of a country,  Martin Luther King  – subjugation of a people, Anna Hazare – corruption in a  country. For the last two  – just the choice of the problem that they chose to address makes them big. Dr. Edward W. Deming chose to address the problem of poor quality in production in Japan and then in the US.

The beginning point of all innovation, of all companies, of all products is a problem! And identifying ( seeing ) the problem is perhaps the biggest problem !!

So if you want to know how successful a person or a company is going to be – ask a polite question  -

“Whats your problem ?

And if you really care for a person – ” Share a problem with him or her “.

So any one who would care to share their problems ?

Aren’t problems wonderful ?

What do you say ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have I made it Large?

Its a question that is asked in a popular liquor brand advertisement( The pun  on Large is intended); and yet the question is sublime. Put another way the question is :

“Am I a success ?”

Is that not a great question to ask oneself ?

A related question to ask that can probably throw light on  the question above is  – Which problem set are you facing today, this month , this year ?

Is it the same problem set that you were facing yesterday, last month, last year ?

If so, despite all the promotions and increments that you received or gave – can you seriously say that you are successful ?

Now isn’t that a question ?

 

On a lighter vein :

Have you heard of the doctor who cured his daughter of a viral fever every week ?

or of the smoker who successfully quit every day ?

Which company should I choose ? A conversation and an old story.

Yesterday, a young professional who was once a part of my team pinged me for a chat. He wanted advice. He is young, energetic, inquisitive and eager to learn. He is also married and has recently become a father. He is currently working in an organization that he believes is very unstable. He holds a position of fair responsibility and yet he was troubled. He was clear that he wanted to change and wanted advice on a preliminary list of companies that he was targeting.

” What is it that you are seeking ?” . I asked him.

“More Money and greater Stability”. He said.

I advised, ” One – do not seek money – it will come. Two – one should leave for the right reasons eg. to acquire some new skill or knowledge. Three – stability might not be good in all circumstances. “.    He asked simply, “how can stability not be good ?”.

” See, in an unstable environment many people want to leave – just as you are thinking….and often they are successful… in leaving. Attrition rates are high. And one of the advantages of high attrition rates for a professional like you is that if you can just stick around and weather the storm – opportunities open up in positions above you. This does not happen in a stable environment. So you get opportunities to learn and acquire new skills very quickly”, I said.

” But what if one loses his job, what then? “. ” that  is a risk – but then you can always find another job. In any case, no job is risk free except perhaps a government job”.

” No,  my priority is my family right now. I need more money and I need  more security”, he answered firmly.

At that point – I gave my frank opinions about the companies that he had mentioned. And that was it.

After the conversation -   I was a reminded of a story that I was particularly fond of when I was a small kid;  the story of the Bodhisattva and his 360 crore teachers!  During an evening stroll, the Bodhisattva finds a man breaking stones. He asks the man, ” Brother, what are you doing?”. The man gives a surly look and answers, ” Are you blind ? Can’t you see ? I am breaking stones”. He thanks the man ,  goes a little ahead and find another man breaking stones. He repeats the question that he had asked the first man. This time however, the response was different . ” Brother, I am doing my duty. I have a family to support and hence I am trying to fulfill that by working here.”. The Bodhisattva  thanked him and went ahead.

A little further, he found another man – singing, and whistling. He had joy on his face, besides the sweat. This man too was breaking stones. The Bodhisattva, was not a very clever man ( like most consultants and auditors ) and so asked the same question again – ” Brother, what are you doing?” . The third man responded, ” Sir, I am building the most beautiful temple ever built. It will be of such beauty that even God  will not be able to resist and would love to live here”. The story ends, with the Bodhisattva bowing and saluting his three new teachers.

It was always clear to me that the quality and chemistry of the same work done by the  three men in the story would be very different.  The quality of life of the third man would always be higher than the other two. He was having fun. The other two were living in their own created  hell.

Now, knowing this – could I have done anything differently while advising this young professional ?

How will you advise, if you were asked the same question ?

Preventing a Bad Hire : A critique of Harvard Business Review article

Harvard Business Review is a great place to learn about the Wisdom that people have gained through their experiences.  I saw an interesting article that talks about preventing wrong hires and hiring right candidates.

But I think the article misses a point and it also acknowledges the weakness in the same article. The method is just too subjective!! Additionally, the subjectivity prevents it from being deployed where large scale hiring is necessary.

I absolutely agree on the need to avoid bad hires. And I believe that we can arrive at strong objective methods through which we can support the subjective elements that go in making the correct hiring decision.And I think the reason why most companies rely only on interviews as the method to come to a conclusion is because they do not capture the relevant data. Contact centers provide a great learning around the hiring process as discussed here    http://wp.me/p1Gv5P-2p

I believe that there are atleast five types of profile evaluations ( http://wp.me/p1Gv5P-2V) apart from skill that determine behavior and therefore the “success” of the new hire.

Seven “Non-Negotiables” to Prevent a Bad Hire – David K. Williams and Mary Michelle Scott – Harvard Business Review.

In my view the choice is clear. Do we depend on only on Subjective criteria to make a new hire or use robust recruitment process analytics to support  the hiring decision ?

What is your opinion ?